


Count Off- Pidge & Passing Out From Pain

by the_sinnamon_roll_writes



Series: Bad Things Happen [23]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Hurt Pidge | Katie Holt, Kinda, Look it Up, Needles, Pidge | Katie Holt Angst, Pidge | Katie Holt Whump, Ransom video, Slight Suffocation, Torture, and i've never been bothered by needles, but it has poison-like qualities, dryboarding, it doesn't go into super vivid details but its not pleasant, it's not REALLY poison, lemme know if there's something I should've tagged, matts PISSED, mentions of forced sedation in chapter 2, poison as a torture device, that's a relevant tag the needle part even made my skin crawl a bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:40:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24757930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_sinnamon_roll_writes/pseuds/the_sinnamon_roll_writes
Summary: It only takes a few seconds of not paying attention for someone to get left behind, and a Paladin in Galra custody is never a pleasant thing.They count off after missions now.This was a request! A part of this request was for some unusual torture methods, and I just need you guys to know just how much of a hit my search history took with that. It truly led me to some dark places. If anyone dies a mysterious death around me, I would not come out looking very good.
Series: Bad Things Happen [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1212720
Comments: 14
Kudos: 94





	1. Get Knocked Down

**Author's Note:**

> Two posts in less than a week? Whack. 
> 
> So the beginning of this one reads a bit choppy, but I've always had a tough time with scene-setting, so please forgive that. Otherwise, I'm pretty pleased with how this one turned out!

One of the first things Coran had taught them was that a part of being a Paladin meant putting the safety of a teammate over your own. It was also one of the first things they had mastered doing. And as it turned out, the more they’d taken that to heart, the better they’d done as a group. As self-preservation instincts expanded to include others, injuries became less and less frequent. Turns out, when you have a team of four other people watching your back, you’re much less likely to find yourself with a knife lodged in it. 

The skills that they had developed as a team were actually a source of pride for everyone who lived in the Castle of Lions. They were like a well-oiled machine at this point, each of them easily able to fall into a specific role for whatever the mission called for. 

This time it was a simple rescue mission- break into a prison and free a bunch of hostages. Nothing new. In fact, it was reminiscent of the first time Shiro and Pidge had saved prisoners when the Black Paladin had realized some potential uses for his arm. Except this time, they went in with the intent to free people rather than just stumbling across them by happenstance. Allura had stayed behind so she could be ready to wormhole them out as soon as they’d loaded all the prisoners on an escape ship, so Shiro had taken her place. For the first time since Shiro had returned, the landing team consisted of all the original Paladins, even if they weren’t piloting the same Lions they had at the start. 

Rather than running the risk of losing all five Lions by taking them all to the same place, they had elected to take only two Lions, Red and Yellow. Lance and Hunk piloted together like they were made for it, cutting through each little ship they encountered with enough speed and efficiency that none of them even had to chance to try and radio their presence in. It was a win/win- there would be fewer adversaries on the way back, and they retained the element of surprise. 

Still, the mission wasn’t _safe_ by any means. The danger had, through careful planning and execution, been limited, but they all knew that there was no such thing as a perfect mission. 

They’d all been on high alert when they’d been spotted and forced to make a quick escape. (Higher alert than usual, at least, given that ‘high alert’ tended to be everyone’s default setting by now). Although they hadn’t managed to empty every prison cell on the base, they’d managed to get a fair portion of them loaded onto ships and away from their imprisoners; then the main focus turned to running and making it back to their escape point in one piece. Unfortunately, they were all too late in noticing that they were missing something vitally important. Some _one_ important. 

It wasn’t _really_ anyone’s fault. Allura had opened a wormhole, and they’d all flown through it in their Lions. Or so they thought. 

There had been a barrage of rebel ships waiting near the castle to take the prisoners in, since the team didn’t really have the resources to house guests long-term. So, the exhausted Paladins returned straight to the castle without worrying too much about helping any further. They would keep an ear out to see if the rebels reached out, but they were all more focused on not thinking about how many prisoners they’d been forced to leave behind. It was an unfortunate reality that they had to face; they simply couldn’t save everyone. There would always be losses, there would always be horrors that they were too late to prevent, there would always be situations that were too far gone for them to do any good. 

They had learned to find the pluses wherever they could. They’d saved _some_ people. They’d kept things from getting _too_ much worse. They were five people doing the best they could to help the entire universe. It was a tall order for anyone; it was a total nightmare for four teens and an adult with severe PTSD. 

So the return flight was mostly quiet. No one wanted to say much, and after jobs like this, the Paladins generally preferred to gather their thoughts before facing each other and reflecting on their mission. They would have to report the specifics to Allura and Coran anyways- why bother reliving things more than necessary?

Soon enough, they were all stumbling wearily into the control room where the Alteans were waiting for them. 

Shiro was the first to enter. Hunk followed after him, and a few minutes later, Lance and Keith had joined them. There were a few more moments of idle chatting as they waited to see if Pidge was going to show up. Eventually Shiro sighed and spoke. 

“Did Pidge run off already?” he asked, scanning over the faces in the room for answers. It would hardly be the first time she’d skipped off the post-mission briefings, but he’d told her time and time again that she really shouldn’t, and he was hoping that one day it would stick. “Lance?”

“What? Why would I know? She... rode back with you guys, right?”

The moment everyone realized the implications of the short exchange was marked by a simultaneous change in everyone’s expressions. It was like they’d all been submerged in ice cold water. Then, after a beat, the room erupted with panicked voices, pointing fingers and throwing blame at each other. It was Hunk or Lance’s fault for not checking before they flew off. It was Keith’s fault for not making sure she was keeping up with them. It was Allura’s fault for wormholing them away so quickly without a chance to properly regroup. It was Shiro’s fault for not keeping an eye on the team. 

“I _thought_ she was with _you!”_ Hunk snapped after one particularly heated accusation was hurled at him from Lance. 

“She flew in with you! Why would she fly out with us?” 

“Why wouldn’t she? If she got to your Lion first-”

“Well, obviously she didn’t!”

“Enough!” Shiro finally shouted over the arguments. “This isn’t doing any good. We need to go back and get her.”

Allura frowned deeply at Shiro’s words. “We might find a lead there, but I’m almost positive we won’t find Pidge. If they’ve captured her, then they will have moved her far from that base so we can’t find her easily. And they’ll be expecting us to come back for her- I’m sure they’re already preparing a trap. We need to plan this out.”

Everyone absorbed the truth in Allura’s words uncomfortably. The Galra wouldn’t just sit around with Pidge and give them the opportunity to simply come pick her up again. They worked fast, especially when it came to matters regarding Voltron. Even if she didn’t have her Lion, the Green Paladin was absolutely someone the Galra would want in their custody. It wasn’t likely that they would be willing to give up such a valuable prisoner any time soon. 

But the Paladins wanted her too, for more than just the value she had as a member of Voltron. They wanted their little sister back, and they would be willing to do just about anything they could to get her. 

Every mission had losses. But _Pidge_ wouldn’t be one of them. 

•••

However, despite all their efforts, they had nothing. No clues, no tips, nothing. Pidge was the one who was used to searching through Galran records and finding people, after all. 

Unfortunately it wasn’t until over a week later that they got their first hint, and truth be told, it didn’t seem like a very useful one. It came from a rebel leader, who hailed the castle rather unexpectedly. They were all hesitant to answer- if the rebels needed something, it would take away time spent trying to find Pidge. And besides, they didn’t even have the ability to form Voltron, so their capacity to help was limited. Still, they had to concede that it would be in everyone’s best interest to at least hear what was going on. If only to have some intelligence as to the state of affairs in other galaxies. 

The rebel that appeared onscreen was familiar only because she usually worked closely with Matt. Her dog-like face was easily recognizable to each of them at this point. 

“Paladins! Have you seen the transmission yet?” Olia looked distressed when the baffled team Voltron all shook their heads. She started rapidly pressing buttons on her end. “This was broadcast two days ago on every screen in at least three galaxies. Obviously the goal was for you all to see it. Um... Matt saw it- he ran off almost immediately, saying he was going to find you all. Is he there yet?

After several head shakes and a chorus of “no”s Olia continued. “Well, he should be there soon. I’m sending you the video, but I can’t wait around for you to finish watching it. Some of our followers have lost a bit of morale after seeing a Paladin like... well, you’ll see. You know how to reach me if you need anything at all from us. Don’t hesitate to call, and we’ll do everything we can to help.”

And with that, she was gone. Several anxious glances were shared around the room before Coran was finally able to pull up the video Olia had sent. 

It was, to summarize, a complete and total nightmare. 

The opening scene was upsetting enough as it was. Pidge was sitting in an elevated chair, her legs were tied to the legs of the chair, and her arms were restrained at the wrists and the elbows to the arms of the chair. They were tight enough to be visibly turning the tips of her fingers blue. A single strap was wrapped around her waist, preventing her from even being able to arch forward. What had she done to warrant such careful restraints?

There was no kind way to put it- Pidge looked terrible. The Green Paladin had never been overly concerned with her looks, but she would at least keep herself presentable. Now, she looked anything but. Her hair- which had been steadily growing since they’d left Earth- was once again chopped short and uneven. She was badly bruised and had cuts and dried blood all over the parts of her skin that was exposed by the meager Galran prison attire. 

The only relief to be found was that she looked like she hadn’t lost any of the fire inside her. She scowled at something offscreen, looking like she wanted nothing more than to launch herself at whatever it was and rip it apart. They weren’t left wondering for long, as a hulking purple figure soon appeared on-camera and loomed over her. 

“Are you ready to tell me where the rebels are hiding?” the Galran asked, skipping all pleasantries. He sounded rather mechanic, like he was simply asking out of habit and not really expecting an answer. 

“No.” 

“Well, are you ready to tell the rest of Voltron to stand down and surrender the Lions then?”

“Never.” Pidge was glaring up at him resolutely. It was a look the other Paladins were intimately familiar with- it was the look she got when her mind was set on something that wouldn’t be changing any time soon. 

He sighed heavily, like she had just given him bad news. “How many times must we do this? You know what’s coming if you don’t tell me what I need to know. Think of how much pain you could save yourself if you simply told me.”

“I can do this as long as you can,” Pidge retorted, looking for all the universe like she really meant it. 

“Well, I for one would rather not waste time waiting around. The next logical step would be to take my requests to the rest of your team, wouldn’t you say?”

“I say fuck you, you ugly purple nut sack. They won’t ever negotiate with- no- fuck _off-!”_ As she spoke, the large Galran had approached her and grabbed her by the chin, jerking her mouth open. With his other hand, he whipped out something and held it up gratuitously, like he was displaying it for both Pidge and the camera- it was just a piece of cloth; a handkerchief. 

After a moment, he shoved it into Pidge’s mouth. Instead of just leaving it in as a gag, he used two fingers to force it farther down her throat until she retched around it. Then, without giving her a chance to try and spit it out, he was drawing out a strange device from somewhere else. This one was far less recognizable than the cloth, but looked far more sinister. Judging by her reaction, Pidge was familiar with it as she jerked back and shook her head violently. Unfortunately, she couldn’t move back far enough to get away from him, and he was able to grab her all too soon. 

As soon as the device was past her teeth, the Galran began twisting a knob on his end. Soon, the part that was in her mouth began noticeably expanding, forcing her jaw open painfully wide, and effectively preventing her from being able to work the cloth out. The material was gossamer enough for her to drag in much-needed air; but with the way it was shoved down her throat, it was extremely obstructed. 

“That’s better, isn’t it? Try not to vomit, this time,” the Galran sneered. “We wouldn’t want you suffocating in front of your team, now would we? We can’t lose our gambling piece.”

Even as he spoke, a convulsion ran through her body like she was about to throw up. If she did, then she ran the very real risk of suffocating in her own vomit. Even if it could get around the gag, it would just get trapped behind the metal device. He seized her hair again and shook her head roughly. “What’d I just say? Swallow. It. Back.”

A shudder shook through the young girl, but she managed to hold off another gag. He released her hair, and she visibly fought off another gag as her head instinctively rolled forward and jostled the item lodged in her throat. 

“Good girl, isn’t that better? Now, let’s get a move on. Plenty of other Galrans would try beating an answer out of you. They have no sense of... artistry. That’s what sets me apart. You know that already, don’t you, little one?”

(The other Paladins all made various sounds of protest, as though they could be heard. They all knew how much Pidge resented being called little. And there was a world of difference between Lance or Hunk or Keith playfully calling her little and some random commander publicly saying it to humiliate her.)

“Now we’re going to be showing your team just how different I am.” His grin widened when he saw Pidge’s eyes flicker over to the camera. “That’s right. Since you aren’t being forthcoming, we’re going to hold a little demonstration, then let your team decide if they want to give in to my requests. I’d imagine they’d do just about anything to get you back after they see what we do to you. Don’t you agree? Or do you think they’ll decide you’re not worth it?”

Understanding finally flashed across Pidge’s face, and she looked over to shake her head frantically at the camera. Her message was clear, even if she couldn’t say it: _don’t give him what he wants._ It was cut short though when her cheek was backhanded by the alien in front of her. 

“None of that. You had your chance to talk, and you elected not to. Now you get to sit there and be an example.” As he spoke, he turn his attention from Pidge to a table off to the side of the room. 

(“He has a _table?”_ Lance hissed, his mind immediately going to every movie he’d ever seen where the bad guy had a table of torture instruments on hand. No one answered him. They were all thinking the same thing.)

It was nearly impossible to make out what it was he had picked up. There was the occasional hint of silver, giving the impression that he had something metal, but the objects were too tiny to make out right away.

(One by one, everyone started to realize that they were long, silver needles. What was he going to do with those? It was confusing- something that small couldn’t do too much damage, could it? Wasn’t acupuncture supposed to actually feel good?)

Apparently Pidge knew something they didn’t, if the way she was eyeing them was any indicator. It looked like she was imagining all the different places they could go that would cause pain. 

“I trust you can remember how effective these can be, right? I recall you didn’t care much for what we did with them last time, so I was planning on trying something different for the camera.” With a slow deliberateness, the Galran started to drag one of the needles along Pidge’s fingertips. Before he got too far- he’d only drawn a few pinpricks of blood- he stopped himself with a bright, sinister smile, like he was pretending to have just remembered something. 

“Oh no, I almost forgot! We can’t risk an infection, can we?” The Galran made a show of pulling a lighter from one of his pockets, lighting it, and holding the needle over the flame until the sharp end started glowing white. 

Despite her pride telling her not to, that she should just suck it up and take the pain like a Paladin, Pidge began leaning away and struggling against her bindings. 

It was pointless. But she couldn’t not try. 

Her eyes squeezed shut and a muffled whine escaped her as he slowly began driving the thin piece of superheated metal into her left pinky finger, right where the nail met the skin. He pushed it past the nail bed until it reached the first knuckle. Pidge’s head fell back as she continued to cry into her gag. She was fighting against the restraints, trying to rip her hand away from her torturer to no avail. Her chest shuddered, like any breath she took hardly made it to her lungs past the cloth. 

Once the needle was in far enough to stay on its own, he continued to enact the same treatment on the rest of her fingers, heating up the metal and running needles through the sensitive skin beneath her nails to the knuckle. When he was done, the tips of her fingers glinted in the light and Pidge was trembling. The Galran ran his fingers over the ends of the needles. He hadn’t jostled them very much, but even that light touch was enough to make Pidge’s face twist in pain. 

Ten needles. Ten burning needles were buried into Pidge’s nimble, dexterous fingers. Fingers that danced across machinery and brought life to it with impossible ease. Fingers that were almost certainly enduring severe nerve damage right now. It was painful to imagine how Pidge would feel if she lost use of her fingers. Between the needles and the tight restraints restricting blood flow, it was a real possibility. 

“Should we do your toes as well, or should we move on to something new?”

Pidge glared at him through tear-reddened eyes. 

(Everyone watching the video had to admire her spunk.)

“You’re right,” he continued as though she had answered, “we should give them something else to see. We want them to know what you’ve been up to, after all. Perhaps we should break something. Maybe a shin?” 

Pidge’s expression spoke volumes. Volumes that she couldn’t speak herself. _‘Go crawl in a pit and die, you purple-furby-looking motherfucker.’_

“No, that would be too... inelegant for my taste. I know!” His bright tone might’ve indicated a sudden inspiration- but the subtle way he dragged out the ‘know’ suggested that he had planned everything out before all this. “We could introduce some chemicals!”

For the first time, her eyes widened in a clear giveaway of genuine fear. Pidge was, at heart, a scientist, who had been raised surrounded by other scientists. Probably more than anyone on the team, she was aware of what sort of damage could be done when working with foreign substances. It wasn’t just pain- depending on what it was and how it was administered, she could suffer some very serious, lasting consequences. Permanent nerve damage, complete loss of her senses, neurological issues, a very slow, agonizing death. All were possible. 

Proving the earlier point that he had planned it, the Galran turned once again to the small table that held multiple objects, and immediately located a small bottle of liquid, snatching it up along with an unnecessarily large syringe. 

“This,” he said, holding up the vial and scanning the label superficially, “is a little something cooked up by Haggar’s druids. It’s chemical makeup is similar to that of strychnine- but it has a little extra kick to it that won’t be found anywhere in nature. In a fully grown Galran, just five milliliters, administered intravenously is said to produce a slight burning sensation across the whole body within a minute. After that, one can expect muscle convulsions, bleeding from nose and ears, and possible necrosis at the site of injection, if it’s not treated appropriately. Let’s start with ten milliliters, shall we?”

The question was, as all of his had been, entirely rhetorical. He was already pulling back the plunger of the needle and drawing up the cloudy purple liquid from the vial while he asked. 

Pidge was shaking her head wildly, her eyes trying to convey that _‘no, you don’t know what it could do to me. It could be lethal in humans, you idiot!’_

The Galran simply looked amused though, like he knew exactly what she was thinking. “I’ve already told you before not to worry, haven’t I? If your heart stops, our druid on hand is excellent at reviving the recently deceased. I’ve heard it’s not pleasant though, so maybe do your best to keep it pumping.”

(None of the other Paladins liked the implications of that. That they had no qualms about stopping her heart, only to revive her and restart. It was hard not to wonder if it had already happened. If her body had already been pushed to the brink of death and pulled back again.)

He flicked the barrel of the syringe, sending a few drops of the solution flying onto Pidge’s bare knee. She winced as the liquid hit her skin and burned like melted metal- it wouldn’t have been a surprise to her if she’d looked down and saw a hole there. But her eyes were still fixed on the needle in front of her. 

The Galran studied her arm carefully, searching for a vein to puncture. Once he found one, he wasted no time in sticking the needle into her arm and pushing down the plunger. There was a very brief moment in which Pidge’s nociceptors worked to catch up with what was happening, and all she felt was the sting of another huge needle piercing her skin. A small bit of blood beaded where the needle had been pulled back out, but the commander made no move to apply pressure to it. 

The moment it hit her was glaringly obvious. She reacted like he had dumped acid on her arm and into her bloodstream. She immediately began straining away from her affected arm, like she wanted to simply tear it off. All the while, the Galran watched in amusement. 

“You should be feeling the full effects soon enough,” he said nastily. “In the meantime, why don’t I remind you of what I want- if you’ve changed your mind about anything, you can simply nod, and we can fix you up and have a more civilized discussion. I might even consider not sending this to your friends, no matter how entertaining that would be. We can start easy. Where was the last known location of the Lions?”

Pidge scowled as best she could and shook her head. 

“Where’s the nearest rebel base? What’s their next move?”

Her eyes shut again, and her head shake grew even more violent. Tears flew off the sides of her face. 

“Come on,” the Galran cajoled, “just answer one thing and you can have a break from all the pain. It’s only going to get worse. Is it true that there’s a sect of Galran traitors working with Voltron against Emperor Zarkon?”

Pidge’s hands, maimed as they were, clawed at the arms of the chair, looking desperately for something to ground her. She was almost beyond hearing him now. A scream worked its way past her gag. ‘A slight burning effect’ appeared to be a gross understatement; Pidge was reacting like her body was aflame. It was like she had lava running through her, like it was eating away at the blood vessels and muscles, burning everything it encountered. Tears had escaped, and she had cried out when her fingers had been speared by burning metal. But now she was sobbing and shrieking, her head thrown back as the unfamiliar substance pumped through her body. 

(No one particularly wanted to watch anymore, but it was impossible to look away. And it felt like they owed it to Pidge to see it all the way through. If she was going through all of this because of mistakes that they had made, then they could at least bear witness. The more they saw, the more they wanted to just scream at her, tell her to just give up the information he wanted, that it wasn’t worth going through all this. 

She wouldn’t have listened.)

The whole time, the Galra simply stood there, watching with a pleased grin on his face. 

It was obvious when her screams started getting hoarse, even around the gag. And that was when the convulsions started. It looked almost as though she were having seizures, had it not been for the terrible awareness in her eyes- she was feeling every minute of everything. 

If the needles had been a knife to the heart, then the first full-body muscle spasm that happened twisted it painfully. Going by the way her face once again contorted in agony, it seemed the pain from the poison spiked with every little movement. To have her entire body clench and unclench, and to have every movement cause agony- it was a twisted feedback loop. 

Soon her body was tensing so completely it became impossible for her to draw breath. Paired with the gag in her throat, Pidge’s face was turning a very pale shade of blue. She was severely lacking in oxygen, but the Galran commander didn’t seem to care. 

Blood started dribbling down her nose. 

(Keith was surprised at how little blood there had actually been overall. He’d imagined that a video of someone being tortured would have had more bodily fluids involved.)

Another convulsion wracked through her that left her gagging again around the objects in her mouth. 

(Hunk shuddered as he thought of how many times he had gagged like that. It always resulted in vomit- but he’d never had anything blocking his throat and keeping his puke from actually exiting his body.)

“I guarantee you, I can last longer than you. I _will_ break you, Paladin. Whatever it takes.”

(Shiro could remember similar words spoken to him by Haggar when he was her prisoner. Apparently that was a theme among Galra-aligned aliens.)

After an other particularly violent spasm that lasted nearly thirty seconds, the pain finally overwhelmed her. Pidge’s eyes rolled back and her body slumped over to the side as she mercifully passed out. Convulsions still occasionally wracked her body, and blood still trickled down over her lips in weak dribbles, but it was better than the alternative. At least she wasn’t actively aware of the pain. 

Her captor, far from looking upset, actually looked rather proud of having made a small girl literally lose consciousness from pain. He reached out and carelessly felt for her pulse. He must’ve found what he was looking for, because he then snapped his fingers once before he turned to face the camera and spread his arms out wide as if to say _‘check out what I can do!’_

“Paladins of Voltron, you have a choice to make. We want the Lions,” he said without further preamble. Behind him, two sentries appeared and began untying Pidge, removing the gag and dragging her limp body away (presumably to get some sort of medical attention.) “If you deliver the Lions to us, we will give her back to you, and you will all be free to go. Until the Lions are in our custody, the Green Paladin will be put through this every day. I have no shortage of ways to make it even worse for her. How much she endures is now up to you. I look forward to seeing you.”

The video ended with a shot of his ugly Galran mug smirking at them. 

For a moment, the only sounds were Lance and Hunk crying and Keith trying to take deep, calming breaths. Allura would’ve appeared enraged if not for the silent tears streaming down her cheeks, and Coran just looked horrified. Shiro’s human knuckles were white from how hard they were clenching his hair (his prosthetic had long since crushed the part of seat in front of him that he was gripping). “Okay,” he finally said, his voice sounding oddly distant to his own ears, “this is... this is a lead.”

No one had any sort of reply to that. From what they’d seen, there was no way of actually figuring out where she was from anything in the video. Nothing stood out as identifying in the background. Nothing the Galran had said indicated where they might be stationed. They didn’t even recognize the Galran. All they’d learned was that Pidge was being tortured, and they all could’ve done without seeing the evidence. 

“It is,” Shiro repeated, sounding firmer. “I’m sure of it. There’s gotta be some hint in there of where she is.”

He had to admit, he was grasping at straws. But he had to believe that they would find something soon- he couldn’t stand the thought of leaving Pidge in their clutches for any length of time. 

A stressed silence fell over the group, until Hunk finally couldn’t take it- “why didn’t she just tell him what he wanted to know? We would never have blamed her for it.”

No one answered, even though they all knew why. She was stubborn, and loyal to a fault, and that combination led to a small person who would never, _ever_ give up anything that might jeopardize something or someone she cared for. Most of the time it was almost touching. But times like this one were... more difficult. 

They were so lost in individual thoughts that they hadn’t even noticed a foreign ship approaching them. Or that it had landed in one of the Castle’s many hangars when they were three quarters of the way through the video. Or that several of the Castle’s security cameras had picked up a tall, slim figure making its way through the hallways towards their location. 

The Paladins all jumped at a sudden commotion outside the control room they were gathered in. They glanced at one another uneasily- no one should’ve been able to get in. There were security measures in place to keep would-be intruders out. None of them had their armor or bayards handy (they rarely kept them on hand in the castle unless they were practicing). Essentially, they were defenseless. 

When they saw the familiar face, however, it immediately became clear how he got past their systems, and that they weren’t in immediate danger. After all, there were very few machines in the universe that were capable of keeping a determined Holt out, and their security was no exception. 

And it was none other than Matt Holt who had just barged onto the bridge. 

He looked positively murderous.

_"Where the fuck is she?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me too much for this! I'm almost done with chapter 2, and I swear, I won't leave everyone hanging! I'll do my very best to have it edited and posted within a week. As for the rest of my bingo card, I have one piece that's already done and should be up in the next couple of days, and I'm about a third of the way through the last work in the series! 
> 
> And as always, kudos give me the warm fuzzies, comments keep me writing! I can be reached right over [here!](https://the-sinnamon-roll-writes.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And once again, if you're involved, I hope you're staying safe and healthy during these protests. Take care of yourselves <3


	2. Get Back Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unhinged rant, a rescue with a casualty and multiple broken robots, some healing, and a haircut. 
> 
> I know the last time I wrote Matt was pretty rough, but he’s better now, and back to his usual, great-big-brother self! Although I suppose whether or not ‘better’ could actually be used is negotiable. He’s not in a stellar place, mentally speaking. Honestly, he has absolutely no chill through the vast majority of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My personal opinion on this chapter? The plot points: nailed ‘em. The transitions: piss poor. By the time I finished the plot points and was needing to connect them, I was already past like, 6.5k, and nearing needing to split it up again, and I didn’t want to do that, since I couldn't really find a place where a split would work.
> 
> Also just a quick warning, there is a bit of a gory bit towards the middle of this that involves some bludgeoning to the point of overkill. Honestly, if you made it past the first chapter, you should be totally fine, but just in case. To reiterate the tags: Matts PISSED.

_“Where the fuck is she?”_

The first words out of Matt’s mouth actually had everyone but Shiro and Allura taking a step back in alarm. Matt marched right up to his former teammate and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. “Shiro, tell me that video was staged. Tell me it was just a shitty joke. My sister isn’t _actually_ a prisoner that’s being tortured and videoed for all the universe to see, _is she?_ That’s all just _bullshit,_ right?” His voice had steadily increased in pitch until, by the end, he was essentially shrieking. 

Shiro looked shocked. He knew that Pidge had a temper and cursed like a sailor, just like their mother had a knack for doing. But he’d always thought of Matt as taking after their more level headed father. Before this instance, he wouldn’t have been able to picture Matt blowing up like this. Now he was actually rethinking his previous assumption that the older Holt wasn’t a dangerous person. He was glad Matt didn’t seem to have a weapon on him- he doubted his next words would produce anything good if Matt had had his staff. “I’m so sorry Matt. It was real. We’ve been trying to figure out how to get her back.”

The heartbreak in Matt’s eyes was all too reminiscent of Pidge whenever she came up with a dead end regarding finding her family. “How long has she been gone? Why did you not tell me she was missing?” he demanded. He hadn’t released his grip, and Shiro was able to feel his hands shaking against his chest. 

“It’s been around eleven days,” Allura answered. (She had worked hard on learning Earth measurements of time since some of the humans had a hard time getting Altean time jargon figured out.) “We haven’t had the time to contact you. Ever since she went missing, our time has been spent figuring out where she might be so we can rescue her.”

“Over a week. She’s been going through that for _over a week._ A fucking week and a half, and no one told me? How did this happen- why would you let her get caught? Have you even made any _attempt_ to get to her, or are you just sitting around chatting?”

“Hey man,” Hunk started placatingly from Matt’s side, “we’ve been doing what we could. We don’t even know where she’s been taken. This video is the first actual hint we’ve gotten. It’s not like we left her behind on purpose.”

 _“You left her behind?”_ Matt was back to screeching. After a dirty look at Hunk of combined horror and disgust, he turned back to glare daggers at Shiro. “How could you let this happen? Are you just determined to hand every Holt over to the Galra? First me and dad, and now Pidge? Why can’t you just do your fucking _job_ and _protect us?”_

For the first time since Matt had arrived, Shiro flinched back and inhaled sharply. He was spared having to reply when Keith seized Matt by the shoulders and yanked him away from Shiro, but the damage was already done. The harsh words could hardly be unsaid now. 

“Don’t talk to him like that! Shiro’s doing the best he can- we all are. We’re doing everything and anything we can to find Pidge. We care about her too, you know. You’re not the only one upset about this.”

Matt continued to glower dangerously. He jerked out of Keith’s touch, but didn’t immediately say anything else. He couldn’t bring himself to feel bad about what he’d said just yet- he was still feeling far too tumultuous for that. “So what _have_ you been doing then?”

It was hard not to pick up on the nuance- he was clearly under the impression that, whatever they’d been doing, it wasn’t enough. The harsh judgement wasn’t a great morale booster, and no one particularly wanted to answer. Because the honest answer was that, so far, it _hadn’t_ been enough. They were no closer to finding Pidge than they were when they’d first realized she was missing. This time it was Allura who answered. “We’ve been searching nearby bases for any records that might indicate where she’s being held. Hunk has managed to rewire a few sentries to try and find out what they might know, but so far that’s yielded no results. They shut down entirely after the first couple of questions.”

“Why don’t you just give him what he wants?” Matt asked impatiently. 

“Because they want the Lions.” Allura scoffed. “They want Voltron. And that’s not an-”

“Then give them the fucking Lions! It’s not like you can use them without her anyways, right?” he snapped, staring at everyone impatiently. 

“Matt, we can’t just-”

“Katie is being tortured! You all understand that, right?” Matt demanded. Even when they had been imprisoned together, even when he’d been faced with having to fight in the arena, Shiro couldn’t remember ever seeing Matt so- so _this._ Unhinged. Like he was nearly out of his mind with panic. He looked about two seconds from a full-blown breakdown, and that was the only reason most of them didn’t walk over and smack him. 

Keith had less impulse control than the others though. He walked back over to where Matt was pacing, well-aware of everyone’s eyes watching him anxiously. All he did, however, was place his hands on Matt’s shoulders to hold him in place. “Matt. We’re going to get her back. We just need to make a plan first. If we run in half-cocked, we’ll only make things worse. Okay? You know that.”

Matt bit his cheek. He knew Keith was right. He knew everyone else was right too, for that matter. It was just... she was his little sister. He’d known her since she was born, and had been looking out for her for just as long. He would do anything for her, and he knew that she would burn the Earth and salt the remains for him. Hell, she had run away from home and snuck into _space_ just to find him. And now he was powerless to return the favor. His hands came up to rub at his forehead with a frustrated groan that turned into a slow deep breath. “Fine,” he said without looking up. “What can we do-”

Suddenly Hunk was yelling excitedly for everyone’s attention. “I think I figured it out! I figured out where she’s being held- or at least, where the video was taken. But I mean, she had to be there at some point, right?”

“That’s awesome Hunk!” Lance said enthusiastically. No one had even noticed that the Yellow Paladin had essentially excused himself from the discussion to focus on two separate screens in front of him. 

“Yeah! I was playing it again and watching the background to see if I could get any clues- then I realized I could just use the Galran’s face and see if there were any matches in Pidge’s data. All I had to do after I found him was cross reference his name with-”

“I already said it was awesome big guy, we don’t need the details,” Lance said, no less enthusiastically. “I bet Pidge will want to hear all about it when we rescue her though.”

“So? Where is she?” Matt snapped. “How long will it take us to get there?”

“Hold on,” Shiro said. “We need to come up with a plan of action. We can’t risk the Lions falling in their hands, _especially_ not without getting Pidge first. There’s nothing to stop them from just killing her the minute they have Voltron anyway.”

Even Matt had to accept that Shiro had a point, even if he didn’t like it. For the first time since he’d arrived at the Castle, he forced himself to sit down to join in on the planning. 

•••

Simple plans tended to be best, especially in groups. The more people you’re working with, the harder it is to coordinate intricate schemes. The Paladins had generally found that they were most successful when they went into things with a specific goal in mind to focus on and jobs already doled out. It simply streamlined any processes they needed to do in the most effective way they could. Give everyone one job and trust them all to complete it and, in theory, it should all move like clockwork. 

Of course, until very recently it usually _had_ gone like clockwork, and they had taken that for granted. The sudden loss of Pidge had shown them all that even the best laid plans could go wrong, and as such, they were all on edge. The knowledge of what was at stake if they failed was at the forefront of everyone’s minds- no doubt if they couldn’t get her on the first attempt, she would be severely punished for it. And there was a small- but very real- possibility that, if they couldn’t get Pidge on the first attempt, her captors would just decide she wasn’t worth the effort and simply do away with her. 

So they needed to be nothing short of perfect. 

“Alright, so Matt, you’ll stay behind on the ship and keep it running so we can make a quick escape,” Shiro summarized, staring down at the plans they had drawn up. (They didn’t really _need_ to actually draw them up; they’d just found it helped Lance to focus if he was allowed to sketch things out as they went.) It hadn’t taken them all that long to do it- mostly it was a matter of figuring out who was going where. “Hunk and I will cause a distraction, and hopefully draw a good portion of the sentries to us. Keith, you’re going to get Pidge. They’ll be expecting some sort of rescue, so there’s probably going to be some guards outside of her cell, so Lance will be with you to take them out from a distance. And we’ll be counting off once we all get back, don’t forget.”

As he spoke, everyone nodded at their respective parts. When he was sure that they all understood, he looked over at Allura and Coran. “Princess, you’ll be ready to wormhole us out of there, right?”

“Correct. And Coran will be on hand to provide medical care.”

“Good.” Looking back at the rest of the team, he saw that none of them looked particularly excited like they might’ve been on a normal mission; instead, each young man wore a solemn, intent expression. “Remember, this is a rescue mission. Our focus is on getting in, getting Pidge, and getting out. We take care of any enemy that we encounter, but no one is to go out of their way to engage. No one deviates from the plan. We aren’t going looking for the commander we saw who was in the video. We aren’t getting revenge. That can wait.”

“But if we do see him...” Keith trailed off, looking somewhat vengeful. 

“Then we kill him,” Matt answered for Shiro almost immediately. 

Shiro nodded in agreement. “On sight. Don’t try and talk with him, or give him any chance to fight back and get the upper hand. Don’t drag it out. Shot to the head, sword in the throat, quick and simple. Got it?”

Everyone nodded, and Shiro was satisfied. “Alright. We’ve kept her waiting for long enough. Let’s move out.”

Grim determination drove them all together to the compact vessel Matt piloted. The elder Holt waited until he heard Shiro’s confirmation that everyone was boarded and strapped in, then wasted no time in hitting the gas. The small ship shot off like a dog released from a leash. Like his sister, Matt had modified his ship almost to the point of it being an entirely new spaceship. 

The two Holt siblings had swapped ideas and technology just about every time they’d seen each other since they were both in space. As such, riding in Matt’s ship was rather reminiscent of riding in Pidge’s Lion. Especially when they were nearing their destination and Matt hit a button that cloaked the entire ship, rendering them temporarily invisible to any enemies. 

“Does everyone remember their numbers?” Shiro asked as they flew. Everyone he could see nodded. “Practice then. Just once. One.”

“Two.”

“Three. 

“Four.”

“Five. And assuming I’m the one carrying Pidge, six.”

In order, Matt, Hunk, Lance, and Keith all rattled off their assigned numbers, effectively proving that they were capable of counting to at least six. Shiro seemed happy with how they’d counted off, and waved a hand, signaling everyone to stand up and get ready to move out.

They had just stepped out of the ship when Lance stopped, drawing everyone’s eyes to him. “What if she’s... in the middle of a torture session or something? What if it’s not safe to move her?”

There was only a moment of hesitation before Keith responded. “We’ll just need to be fast then. Get her back to the Castle as soon as possible. No matter what, we need to get her out of here though.”

No one missed the subtly implied _‘one way or another.’_

With that grim declaration, the group split up and set out in different directions, Hunk and Shiro going one way, Lance and Keith going the other. 

“Alright Shiro,” Hunk said, “what’s the plan for the distraction? Are we targeting something specific, or are we just raising hell wherever we can?”

“I think it’ll be better if we just raise hell,” Shiro answered. “Don’t give them an excuse to congregate in one place. Easier to pick them off one by one rather than in a mob, if it comes to that. We run through here, firing at and breaking as much as we can. Smash through some walls, short circuit some electric panels, break robots, anything that comes up and will leave a trail.”

Hunk nodded and pulled out his bayard, watching as Shiro’s arm lit up at the same time. When Shiro met his eyes and nodded back, Hunk hefted his blaster up to his shoulder and started firing. 

•••

Back at the ship, Matt was standing just outside of it, waiting for someone to come in, friend or foe. He was prepared to either help people load up or to defend their escape route by any means necessary. His staff wouldn’t be of much use if too many enemies showed up, but he was confident that he could take two or three at a time- more than that, and he knew he’d be in trouble. 

Despite that, he was almost hoping it would be an enemy to enter first. His blood had been boiling ever since he’d watched the video. A fight- a real, actual fight, not just a verbal one- would be a good way to let it out. 

So he probably should’ve seen what happened next coming a mile away. If there was one thing his time in space had taught him, it was that the universe had a way of offering up wonderful providences to those who asked. 

Matt stiffened as the door to the bay slid open and a large, purple figure walked in. 

It was a figure he recognized. 

The Galran from the video. 

Rage colored Matt’s vision red as he instinctively drew out his staff. It was primarily a defensive weapon, given to him by rebel forces. But in his hands, after much intense and rigorous training, he had grown deadly with it. And of course, he wouldn’t be a Holt if he hadn’t rigged it up with several modifications of his own. The tip was now deadly sharp, and with a few presses of a button, could send roughly one hundred and fifty milliamperes of electricity into whoever was on the receiving end. 

Without giving the Galran any chance to do anything, Matt was charging him down, his staff swinging in wide arcs meant to draw the eye away from himself. Before the commander could react, Matt was placing a skull-fracturing blow to the side of his head, knocking him flat on the ground. His final rapid blow was a harsh thrust of the sharp end into the Galran’s stomach. As soon as he heard the now-familiar gasp of someone who had just been stabbed, Matt ripped it back out, and swung his staff around hard enough to knock the head off of the electronic sentry that had been behind the commander. 

It all happened in less than a minute. Realization was just dawning on the Galran’s eyes when Matt turned his attention back to him and pointed the tip of his staff back at his throat. “Wha- who are you?!”

“That was my sister you’ve been torturing,” Matt growled in lieu of an answer. “And if I weren’t waiting for her to come back so I can get her out of here, believe me when I would say this would be a lot slower. But since I’m in a rush, I’ll just say this: fuck you, you ugly purple nut sack.”

Although there was much more that Matt wanted to say (and do) to the alien in front of him, he limited himself to imbedding the sharp tip into the Galran’s neck, and sending waves of agonizing electricity into his body. The wide-eyed shock on his face nearly made it worth the quick route. His aim for a major artery had been true, and in no time at all, the commander had bled out. Or he’d suffocated in his own blood. Or perhaps his heart had been stopped by the electrical currents before he could do either of those things.

Matt kicked him over to the ground when he pulled his staff back out, then immediately brought the tip down viciously, stabbing the Galran in the chest. 

Then he did it again. 

And again. 

And again. 

And, just for good measure, ten more times. He wanted to make sure he was _really_ dead, after all. By the time Matt was finished, the commander’s chest was a caved in, mushy wreck. Blood seeped out and pooled on the floor around him, annoyingly close to Matt’s shoes. They were black, and already filthy, but that didn’t mean he wanted this piece of shit’s blood on them. 

He was quiet for a moment, simply staring down coldly at the body at his feet. Normally he felt something when he killed someone- not regret, necessarily, as he only ever killed when he had no other choice. He’d been raised to believe that all life had value to it, and not just monetarily speaking. Life was something to be respected and admired, in any situation. 

But now? Now he didn’t feel a goddamn ounce of remorse. It was exactly what the Galran had deserved. In fact, he was having a hard time not kicking the corpse in front of him until it was unrecognizable. The only thing stopping him was the fact that he had a job to do, and Shiro’s words echoing in his ears. _‘This is a rescue mission. We take care of any enemy that we encounter, but no one is to go out of their way to engage. No one deviates from the plan.’_ Desecrating a dead body (even further than he already had) almost certainly deviated from the plan. With a soft sigh, Matt settled for reaching down and tearing off a part of the Galran’s pant leg that wasn’t soaked with blood and using it to wipe the warm blood off the end of his staff. 

Then, after a beat, he allowed himself one stomp on the Galran’s face and one furious kick to the head. There was a satisfying crunch of the nose and the skull, and the Galran’s head jerked around to an unnatural angle, like his neck had just been broken. And then he accepted that he was as close to satisfied with the situation he could get. Although he knew he wouldn’t actually be _totally_ satisfied until he saw Katie, he found he still felt a bit lighter knowing he had been the one to (metaphorically) put her torturer in the ground. 

It was hard to gauge how long he stood there, scowling down at the dead body and waiting for something to happen. They hadn’t discussed how long he should wait before he should assume something had gone wrong and go out and help them. Hell, he didn’t even have a clock of any sort. Anxiety was building up in Matt at the thought- what if everyone else had been captured as well? Should he go and get them? It wasn’t often that he was alone like this on missions, and being left by himself at a Galran-occupied base was making him twitchy. 

It honestly could’ve been anywhere from five minutes to an hour before Shiro and Hunk returned, Matt had no idea. All he knew was that he was probably more relieved than he needed to be to see familiar faces. 

“Matt- woah,” Hunk said as he and Shiro entered the room and saw the bodies laying on the floor. “That’s-”

“The Galran, yeah,” Matt said shortly. “Don’t worry, I kept it quick. Didn’t give him the chance to say a thing.”

“You didn’t go looking for him, did you?” Shiro suspected the answer was ‘no’. The body was, after all, where Matt had been. It wouldn’t have made sense for Matt to kill him and drag the body back. But it was the only thing he could think to say in the moment. It wasn’t like he could ask how Matt had done it- the lack of a chest cavity was answer enough. 

To no one’s surprise, Matt shook his head. “Nope. He showed up here. I took care of the problem.”

The resemblance to Pidge when she was feeling remorseless was uncanny. It was almost the exact look and tone that she took on when she was taking care of something that was angering her- it was hard not to wonder if Pidge had picked it up from Matt, or if they had both picked it up from one of their parents. 

(It was, in fact, something they had picked up from Colleen. Both Holt children had seen the expression plenty of times when their mother was dealing with people she didn’t like, school principals, and nasty customers who verbally abused store workers in front of her.)

“Well, good job then,” Shiro said rather gruffly after a moment. “We should probably get in the ship though. We want to be ready to go as soon as we can. Hunk, you good to stay here and shoot at anyone who comes in that isn’t Lance, Keith or Pidge?”

Hunk was already moving forward and adopting a planted stance with his bayard over his shoulder, and Shiro was on his way towards the entrance of the small rebel ship. He stopped in the entrance of the ship to look back at Matt. The rebel was looking back down at the body with an expressionless face. “Matt?”

Shiro’s voice seemed to jolt Matt back into the situation at hand. “Right. I’ll get the engine running. Have you heard from Lance or Keith?”

•••

Bitter as he was to admit it, Lance was exactly the one Keith wanted as his partner for this mission. He was able to snipe most enemies before they even knew that there were intruders on the ship, clean headshots that left only a sparse few for Keith to have to take care of. It made running around with only a vague idea of what direction to go in much less anxiety-inducing. 

It was difficult to say where they were going, and they could only guess what part of the base she would be in. According to their blueprints, there were plenty of places to lock prisoners up, but so far they’d come up empty handed. There didn’t seem to be any prisoners at all, actually, and neither Paladin was sure if that was cause for concern. Perhaps it had been like Slav, with an entire fortress used just to hold her. 

They were convinced that they’d found the right cell though, when they reached it and found there to be four guards standing at attention outside the door. Keith had been the one to poke his head around the corner to act as a scout, immediately holding his thumb up as a sign of affirmation that they’d found the right place. When he turned back to face Lance, he motioned for the sharpshooter to come closer and whispered, “four guards. I get two, you get two?”

“I bet ten GAC I can get all four before you reach ‘em,” Lance challenged with a grin. 

Keith scowled, but nodded. “You’re on.”

Both boys were well aware that any sort of bet took a back burner to their actual mission, and there was no way they would put Pidge at risk for some silly competition. After a count to three, they both jumped around the corner at the same time. Keith started sprinting down the corridor, pulling out his bayard as he went. Behind him, he could hear Lance’s gun fire, and was keenly aware of the blasts flying by his head and striking the sentries in front of him. It was only because he knew how talented Lance was that it didn’t bother him. 

What _did_ bother him was the fourth guard falling to the ground just as he reached the cell. He glanced back quickly and made a rude gesture when he found Lance wearing his trademark gloating grin. It only lasted a moment before he was rushing down the hall after Keith until they were both standing in front of the cell and staring in at the small prisoner inside. 

Somehow she looked even worse than in the video. 

Pidge gazed at them with a small frown, like she couldn’t quite grasp what she was seeing. “What’re you guys doing?”

“Saving you!” two voices said at once with different inflictions. Any other time, she might’ve laughed at the uniformity that was so clearly not practiced. This time, her frown only deepened. 

“You better not have given up the Lions. I didn’t go through all of that just to have you all hand them over.” 

“Of course we didn’t,” Keith grumbled as he started fighting to open the lock. “Pidge, did you see who had the-”

He was interrupted and forced to jump back when the lock exploded with a single shot from Lance’s gun. “I’ve always wanted to try that. Go in and get her, I’ll keep watch.”

Rolling his eyes, Keith hurried inside the cell to kneel down beside Pidge. The only part of her that moved was her eyes, warily following his movements as he approached. 

“Hey Keith,” she muttered when he was eye-to-eye with her. “Fancy meeting you here.”

Ignoring the obvious quip, Keith carefully scanned over her tiny body. “Is there anything I need to know about before I move you? Any injuries that need immediate treatment?”

“Y’know, your bedside manner could use some work. Just jumping straight into things. Could at least say ‘hi’.” When Keith only frowned at her, she sighed. “Nothing too dangerous. They gave me some sort of drug though.”

“Was it pain medication? Do you think you can walk?”

A simple question, but it irritated Pidge in the slightest of ways, like a grain of sand was stuck in her eye. Could she walk? _Pain medication?_ No, she was just sitting around for the hell of it. She hadn’t jumped up at their arrival because she was lazy. Damn idiots. 

(She had the right to be a bit grumpy, didn’t she?) 

Unfortunately, she didn’t quite have the wherewithal to voice her sarcasm. “Nah. No pain meds. Just muscle relaxants or something. Make it hard to move. Doing this to hurt me- pain meds would ruin that.”

As much as no one wanted to hear that, they had both already figured that was the case. “Alright, Keith will carry you. Hopefully we won’t come across any guards, but if we do, I’ll be right there to shoot them,” Lance said brightly from outside. He hadn’t been paying incredibly close attention to the conversation in the cell. He was mostly hoping his words would usher them along a little. 

When she nodded, Keith bent down and scooped her up, cradling her close to his chest. Pidge hissed at the movement, but otherwise just let it happen. She didn’t have the energy to do anything else. For the duration of her stay, Pidge had fought against closing her eyes of her own volition as much as she could. If the opportunity to escape arose, she had been determined to be awake to try and take it. If someone had pressed her, she would’ve admitted that there was almost no way she could’ve escaped on her own, but she had forced herself to remain optimistic. Hope could do wonders for maintaining one’s sanity. 

But now her team was here. Keith was more than strong enough to carry her out. They weren’t out of the woods just yet, but she felt safer than she had in days. She knew on an instinctual level that they would keep her safe. So she let her eyes slide shut and allowed the weariness she’d been fighting off to finally take over. It was much easier, actually letting the tranqs do their job instead of fighting against it. She curled into Keith, soaking the first gentle touch she’d had in days. (Normally she wasn’t bothered by a lack of touch, but when the only source of daily touch was of the hurting variety, she found she was actually craving some platonic intimacy.) Keith seemed to pick up on that social cue and squeezed her ever-so-slightly closer, hoping it would convey the reassurance clearly enough. He and Pidge never really needed to say much to understand one another. 

“Lance, can you contact the others and let them know we have her? I can’t activate my comms.”

The Red Paladin was already nodding and reaching up to adjust his communications link so it was live. “We’ve got her,” Lance said into his helmet when he heard the tell-tale static that told him he was online and could be heard. “We’re on our way back.”

_“Got it. We’re ready to go.”_

Despite the entire place being set up like a maze, Lance and Keith were able to make it back without making any wrong turns or having to double back (mostly because Pidge and Hunk had worked together to code a mod into each of the Paladin’s suits that could remotely scan and download blueprints of any building they entered. Neither Lance nor Keith understood how it worked, but they were fairly certain it had something to do with x-rays.) 

As soon as they came sprinting into the ship, Shiro was calling out. “Count off! One-”

“Two,” Matt yelled from up front. 

“Three.” Hunk said. 

“Four.” 

“Five and six,” Keith said, speaking for the girl dozing in his arms. She hadn’t completely fallen asleep, but she certainly wasn’t checked-in to the situation around her. 

“Alright, get us out of here, Matt,” Shiro instructed. The elder Holt did as he was told, taking off and racing away. 

“How is she?” Matt sounded as anxious as everyone else was feeling, and he couldn’t even see her.

“She’s alive,” Keith offered weakly. Then, realizing that Matt would absolutely abandon his place as the pilot and leave the ship to hurtle through space to come check on her, he added, “she’s going to be fine. Just get us back to the Castle.”

Matt must’ve understood what Keith was really saying: _‘we can’t afford to fuck around. Focus on flying and let us take care of her for now.’_ As much as he wanted to run back and see his sister, he rationally knew that she needed him where he was at right now. So that’s what he did. The flight back to the Castle wasn’t very long, but it was tense, and filled with an uncomfortable silence. No one really knew what to say. With Pidge in the condition she was in, celebrating didn’t really feel like an appropriate response. But she wasn’t _dead._ And that was something. 

As they were leaving, the Castle had open fired on the base. By the time they’d arrived, the entire building was reduced to rubble. For all her talk of diplomacy first, Allura certainly wasn’t the right person to cross. 

After they landed, the door hadn’t even fully opened before Keith was on the ground in the Castle and rushing to find Coran. Shiro was right behind him, while Hunk and Lance stayed behind to wait for Matt to finish landing so they could guide him to the infirmary. 

Keith was speedy, even with someone cradled in his arms, and Shiro was able to keep up without even breaking a sweat. It took only a couple more minutes for them to race through the Castle to meet the two Alteans. The Black Paladin was quick to lay Pidge down on her back on a table and step away to give Coran access to perform an examination. Pidge’s eyes flickered open for a moment and she looked around blearily. Upon realizing she was surrounded by friends, she allowed them to close again with a sigh. 

“They had her drugged up,” Keith said as Coran began looking her over. The Altean nodded distractedly as he poked and prodded and waved all manner of devices over her. It looked like he was thorough in his examination, although it was hard to say, given that neither Keith not Shiro had any idea what he was actually doing. 

“Well, as far as I can tell, there are no actual injuries that warrant a healing pod,” Coran said after nearly ten minutes, looking baffled. “I mean, she certainly has injuries, but they’re all much farther along in the healing process than what would make sense. Keith, you said she’s been drugged?”

“She told me they’d kept her on tranqs. No pain medication, because they still wanted her to hurt.” Just repeating it out loud again made Keith’s heart ache. 

“It was the druids,” Shiro said certainly. “They have ways of stitching you back up- it’s like they channel energy straight into the wound and force it to heal. It’s not a pleasant process, and the wounds don’t actually feel healed because they never heal it all the way, but it keeps you from dying. They’ve practically turned torture into an art form.”

From between them, Pidge let out a low grumble as they talked around her. Coran frowned down at her thoughtfully. “In that case, a pain killer might be the way to go. Just enough to get her through the worst of it.”

He didn’t wait for anyone to reply. He knew they’d say yes- no one wanted her to be in pain, and the best way to avoid that was to use pain relievers. Moments after the needle had slid into her skin, she started to relax. To everyone’s surprise, her eyes flickered open. When she saw most of her team around her, she offered a weary smile that quickly melted into a determined expression. Before anyone could ask, Pidge was struggling to sit up, swaying slightly, but clearly pleased that she was vertical. 

“Well, it’s good to see we got out,” she joked weakly. “Took you long enough.”

“You can thank Hunk for that,” Keith replied. “Getting out, not that it took so long. He was the one who figured out how to trace that Galran from the video.”

Pidge’s face fell minutely. “So you guys saw all of that.”

The others in the room all nodded awkwardly. It wasn’t a comfortable position to be in, knowing that everyone had witnessed you in a position where you were entirely at the mercy of someone else. After a few seconds, Pidge took a deep breath before making herself stand up. Immediately, Shiro hurried forward to offer her a hand, but she only accepted it for a moment to steady herself before letting go. 

“You should sit back down,” he said anxiously. “I know you’re not in as much pain as before, but you’re still healing. You should be resting.”

“I just spent the last who-knows how long either sitting on the floor in a cell or being strapped to a chair. I need to move my legs a little.” Pidge didn’t look like she was going to take no for an answer, so Shiro wisely dropped it for the time being, even if he did hover incessantly. “Where is everyone-”

It was then that three more people came hustling in. It seemed Matt had finished shutting down his ship. 

As soon as he saw Pidge, seemingly unharmed and vertical, the elder Holt appeared to forget about everyone around them and sprinted over to throw his arms around her. He clutched at her tightly, like he never planned to let her go again. “I swear to Newton, Curie, and goddamn _Einstein,_ if you _ever_ fucking do that again, I am dragging you back home and leaving you at the mercy of mom.”

“You kidding?” Pidge asked into his shoulder, looking amused even as she returned the hug. “After I ran away, leaving me with mom would be even worse than leaving me with uggo back there. ‘The mercy of mom’,” she scoffed, pulling back an inch to grin up at him. “No mercy to be found in that woman. I’m saving the universe, and I’ll bet when I see her again, I’ll still get two ears full of crap about running away.”

“Right. We probably shouldn’t share any of what just happened. She would never let either of us out of her sight ever again.”

“Can’t really blame her though. I mean, if I had kids, I probably wouldn’t either.”

“Alright,” Hunk interrupted, “enough sibling talk. Quit hogging her, it’s our turn for hugs!”

Pidge hardly had a chance to catch her breath from Matt when the rest of her team was on her. She had been at the center of plenty of group hugs between them, and this one felt no different. Just as comforting and safe as any other. 

The difference was in the copious number of apologies spilling from the lips of every single one of them. 

She listened for a common thread, and found it to be along the lines of ‘we’re so sorry for leaving you behind, we didn’t mean to, we honestly thought you were with us, blah blah blah.’ Pidge rolled her eyes and waited for them to quiet down. 

“Will it happen again?” was all she asked when she could. 

The collective look of confusion made her smile patiently. “What?” 

“Will it happen again? Are we going to accidentally leave someone behind again?”

Her answer was a resounding _“no!”_ from everyone around her. 

“Good. Then let’s shut up about it. I’d rather not dwell on it.”

It was then that they realized that she hadn’t spoken about what she’d been through at all. Of course she hadn’t. Pidge needed to be pressed into sharing emotions that she thought of as weak. And doing that in a situation that wasn’t one-on-one would likely result in her getting defensive and pissed off. Best to wait and approach her solo. It wasn’t like they didn’t have plenty of time. None of them planned on leaving her alone again anytime soon. 

•••

Matt refused to leave until Pidge was no longer having to limp after taking more than ten steps, and even then he only flew off when Olia contacted the Castle and insisted he return. Before he left, the siblings had requested that the other Paladins give them a moment alone to discuss a few things privately. When they rejoined the group, both Holts had reddened eyes, but were able to offer up genuine smiles. 

“So...” Matt rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he stared at the other Paladins. Although he meant to address all of them, he found himself holding eye contact with Shiro. “I’m sorry. For what I said before. I was not... I wasn’t my best, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. And thank you, for risking so much to save her. I... I feel better, knowing I’m leaving her in your guys’ hands.”

Shiro smiled softly. Matt’s words had hurt, but it was easy to understand. As a general rule, it was best to take things said in stress and anger with a grain of salt, especially from people like Matt, who’s tipping point was far higher than others. Tensions had been running high, and words tended to get thrown around lackadaisically when people were upset- even if they were harsh, they weren’t usually meant. 

“You’re forgiven.” 

Just those two words from Shiro seemed to offer Matt relief, and he nodded in appreciation. “Alright then. I guess I should get going before Olia comes and gets me herself.”

And with one last hug for Pidge, and an amicable wave for everyone else, Matt did just that, leaving a moment of ringing silence in the room. 

“What’d you guys say?” Lance asked eventually after the rebel was out of sight. 

Pidge sighed. She knew that Lance knew damn well they’d asked for some privacy to talk about personal family matters. But she also knew that he probably wouldn’t stop bugging her about it if she didn’t at least throw him a bone. “We just talked about what we would do if one of us... y’know, didn’t make it. Contingency plans. Mostly for our parents.”

For a moment, it looked like Lance was about to ask what they’d settled on, but one look at her posture told him to hold off. She was holding herself rather stiffly, like she was either hurting or ticked off. A glance at the others showed that they had picked up on it as well. 

“Pidge?”

“Why would you guys make Matt watch it?” she asked quietly, crossing her arms and frowning. It was clearly something that had been bothering her for the past few days, but hadn’t wanted to bring up in front of Matt. “You had to know what it would do to...” She looked confused as she read the hesitant, uneasy expressions on everyone’s faces. “What?”

“Pidge... the video wasn’t sent to _us,”_ Shiro said delicately. 

Pidge felt an unpleasant sensation creeping over her as she considered what Shiro’s words might mean. “Who then? The rebels?”

This time it was Allura who spoke. “It was widely broadcast, across multiple galaxies. He had no way of reaching us directly, so... he played it publicly in the hopes that we would find it. Olia was the one who actually got it to us.”

Horror and shame warred inside of Pidge at Allura’s words. Entire galaxies had seen her torture, like it was some TV special. “Well, fuck.” She gulped uncomfortably. “How much of a hit did our following take after seeing a Paladin in custody being tortured?”

“It wasn’t great,” Allura admitted. “But I was thinking... it might go a long way in reaffirming our allies if we were to do our own broadcast of you giving a message of some sort. Showing both that you’re okay, and that we managed to successfully break into a Galra facility and pull off a rescue mission with relative ease. If you’d be comfortable with it, of course.”

Pidge nodded almost immediately. As far as she was concerned, she didn’t have much of a choice. She couldn’t stand the thought of so many people thinking of her like that. She _needed_ them to know that she was strong enough to get back up and fight again. Both for the sake of the coalition and her own dignity. “Give me a script and I’ll do it.”

Allura looked down at her youngest Paladin with pride. The princess knew all too well just how hard it could be to put oneself on display like that, and she couldn’t be prouder of Pidge for having the strength to do it. “It doesn’t have to be right away. We can take some time and settle a bit. I believe we could all use it.”

Everyone in the room was nodding wearily. As the conversation had progressed, they’d all slowly found themselves sitting on the floor and on chairs in what could loosely be described as a circle. 

At Allura’s words, Pidge had sighed, leaning over against Hunk and closing her eyes. They opened again when she felt a hand run through her unevenly chopped hair to find the princess sitting at her other side with a small smile. “It was probably overdue for a cut, wasn’t it?”

“If you’d wanted a haircut, you could’ve just asked me, Pidge,” Lance said with a gentle playfulness from across the room. “I used to trim my nieces’ hair all the time. I got pretty good at it.”

“Would you?”

Lance blinked. He had no issue cutting her hair, of course- he just hadn’t actually expected her to take him up on it. “Sure! Lemme go find some shears.”

“You should do my hair after that,” Hunk said with a surprisingly wicked grin. “I’m starting to get a mullet, and those went out of style _ages_ ago.”

“Hey!” Everyone in the room laughed at Keith’s indignation. "Mullets are timeless."

Before he could say anything else, Lance was waving at Hunk in acknowledgement as he started to exit the room. “Sure thing, buddy. Anyone else want a haircut? Go ahead and start a line or something! Five GAC each, excluding Pidge.”

“What? Why excluding- never mind” Hunk said sheepishly. At his side, Pidge snorted, eyeing him fondly. “You don’t think he’ll really make us pay, do you?” he asked after Lance was gone. 

“Nah, just flash him your puppy dog eyes,” Shiro said, running his fingers through his own hair. “I might ask him to do my hair too. It’s been awhile since someone else has cut it.”

Truth be told, they were all looking a bit shaggy. It was then that Allura suggested that they make something of an evening of it. As it turned out, Shiro had some experience cutting hair as well- mostly his own but he had, on occasion, practiced on his friends back on Earth. When he agreed, she hurried off to her own room to get some scissors and a few sheets to lay out for easy clean-up. 

Allura was back before Lance. In his defense, she knew exactly where to find what she was looking for, while he was on a bit of a goose chase. When he returned, he found the sheets already laid out on the floor and Shiro carefully brushing out Hunk’s hair with a pair of shears sticking out of his mouth. 

Lance blinked at the situation he walked into. “What’s all this?”

“Shiro is going to help you cut hair. We all could use it, so you’ll be splitting the work.”

“Oh. Dope.”

“Lance, no one has said ‘dope’ in years.”

“Yeah, well, I haven’t cut anyone’s hair in years either, so let’s not rag on outdated practices, huh Pidge?”

“I could always get Shiro to do it,” she replied with a cockeyed grin. 

“Shut up and turn around,” Lance shot back with no real heat. When she did, she ended up facing Hunk and Shiro, while Allura, Keith, and Coran were all slouching around on various surfaces around the room waiting for their turns. The Red Paladin took his place behind Pidge, and began gently brushing the knots out of her hair. Most of it was fairly short again, and didn’t require much, but it was best to not have to cut around tangles. 

The room fell into familiar conversation as Shiro and Lance gave out haircuts to everyone and each other. When Lance was finished with Pidge, he brushed her off, and Allura took her place after Keith staunchly refused Lance’s offer. (“Come on mullet, lemme take a whack at it!” “You’re not getting anywhere near my hair with a pair of scissors.”) The Black Paladin elected to let Shiro trim his hair instead. Once Hunk was finished, he and Pidge took up their former position, sitting beside each other with Pidge resting against him. 

It was comfortable. All the Castle residents together, just hanging around and enjoying each other’s company felt _right._ It was like sitting down at a family dinner and game night. In those few moments, they were no longer Paladins fighting in a war. They weren’t the universe’s only hope. They were just a bunch of kids goofing off with friends. 

In Pidge’s absence, they all began to realize just how much these sorts of things meant to them. And how easily they could be lost. It was that night that they all came to a collective and unspoken conclusion: they were the defenders of the universe. But if it came down to it, they would defend each other first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the first time I've ever said I would have something up in a few days, and then actually did it. Seeing all the comments it got so quickly was a great motivation! I really hope it held up with the first chapter.
> 
> Kudos make me smile, and comments warm my heart on cold nights! If you'd like to request anything, or just say hi, you can reach me right over [here!](https://the-sinnamon-roll-writes.tumblr.com/) As I'm pretty much done with my bingo card, I'm not really taking requests for this series, but honestly, if you see a prompt from there that I've done but you have a different idea for, go ahead and send it in! It'll just get posted separately. 
> 
> Stay safe and healthy, everyone!

**Author's Note:**

> Don't hate me too much for this! I'm almost done with chapter 2, and I swear, I won't leave everyone hanging! I'll do my very best to have it edited and posted within a week. As for the rest of my bingo card, I have one piece that's already done and should be up in the next couple of days, and I'm about a third of the way through the last work in the series! 
> 
> And as always, kudos give me the warm fuzzies, comments keep me writing! I can be reached right over [here!](https://the-sinnamon-roll-writes.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And once again, if you're involved, I hope you're staying safe and healthy during these protests. Take care of yourselves <3


End file.
